Before I had kids, I talked to friends who insisted that I needed to find a way to fit kids into my life rather than working my life around them. Over a year in to this parenting journey, and I still have no idea what they were talking about.
Having tiny humans running around has dramatically changed just about every fiber of my being, every penny I spend, and even how I choose to relax and splurge.
Yesterday, hubs had a really, really hard day at work. He is currently on a trauma surgery rotation and so unfortunately he has seen a lot of sad things over the last few days. I, on the other hand, simply had a very loud day with the kiddos.
For once, I decided his day was probably harder 😉 so I offered to let him nap when he got home. Instead, he said I should take a nap, and as any smart mom knows, this is an offer that should not be refused, not even politely once for fear it could be taken back.
So, I got in my bed, turned all the lights off, and closed my eyes while he dealt with the messy, spaghetti eating one year olds in the next room. For an hour I napped until it was time to bathe them. What a relaxing treat. What a luxury. Before kids, I would have splurged on a massage or a facial or a manicure. Now I would take a nap over an expensive diamond necklace, a night out on the town in the city or a whole new wardrobe.
Sometimes, by the end of the day, as an HSP (highly sensitive person) my nerves are really shot from all the crying and babies who both need their mom often at the same time. Sometimes, when I get the opportunity, I have to turn off all the sensory overload and just sit in darkness. It’s always soothing to me as strange as it sounds.
Yoga has also become a bit of a splurge for me, taking the time to stretch and do poses, allowing my brain to shut down for just a minute. Sometimes I find my mind is so, so active I can’t even turn it off in my sleep. I am working really hard right now on turning my freelance writing coaching into a very detailed video course. The other night, I woke up 5 times, each with an idea for the video course. I was dreaming about it! I wish I could say this is a new issue. When I was a park ranger, I used to give all my battlefield tours in my dreams. I have a mind that doesn’t stop, and I’ve tried numerous things to tone it all down. The only thing that works is yoga. So, I pay for the kids to be in daycare at the gym, and I go.
Before kids, I would have splurged on shoes (sooo many shoes), purses, and cute decor for my home. I used to love reading home decor blogs, Homeclick tweets, and doing DIY projects. Now, because my kids have puked all over my sofa and rug with no end in sight, I get giddy over designing digital products and logos instead. As my friend Gretchen says, it’s cheaper to redesign a blog than a house, so it’s a fun way to channel creativity. I’d rather splurge on buying a new website than a new couch these days. (At least web properties can bring in income.)
So, hey, maybe my life seems boring these days. It used to be filled with cute clothes, dates, and seriously adorable shoes when it came to treating myself and splurging. Now it’s more like no makeup, yoga pants, and feeling absolutely thrilled to get a moment to myself. These kids have changed my life in a lot of ways but I am actually really enjoying this direction of minimalism, seeking out the quiet in my loud days, and channeling my extra income towards business pursuits instead of material ones.
How do you like to splurge, and if you are a parent, has it changed since having kids?
You’re such a very busy mom Cat. 🙂 I used to buy clothes for myself before, but now that I have a daughter, I love to buy clothes for my daughter rather than spending to myself.
Aw yeah it’s fun to buy tiny clothes!
I echo the nap comment, though it hasn’t been until recently that hubs ever offered. So he offers, I snatch it. Other than that, maybe some Starbucks? Or you know what’s a real treat? Grocery shopping… Alone.
Oh man. You mean you can grocery shop without handing baby to a total stranger to hold? 😉
I think that it’s great that you and your husband support each other so well. Having young kids is not easy and can really run down your body and mind if you don’t take time to do some self care. The important thing is to know when you need and making the time to for it. Good luck with your videos, I’m sure it will be a success.
Thanks, people tell us that a lot but I just feel like there is no way we could operate without supporting each other. We really need all hands on deck with these two babies!
You two are so good to each other–it’s so sweet how you take care of each other, and those cute babies of yours! Yoga is the only thing that truly calms my mind too. I’m so thankful for my free classes, I honestly can’t imagine getting through the week without yoga! I think it’s great you’re able to make the time for it.
Aw thanks. Yeah it’s just a massive joint effort each day. I’m pretty sure the whole thing would fall apart without hubs!
My mind is the same way when I sleep. Never shuts off! I keep a pad and pen next to my bed so I can write down whatever I’m thinking about in the middle of the night. Half the time I’m laying awake worrying I will forget in the morning so writing it down gives me peace and I can go back to sleep!
Yes sometimes I bring a pad to yoga because once my brain is quiet more ideas jump in haha!
I love this! I am also a highly sensitive person, constant noise rattles me. So sometimes after taking care of my 9 month old daughter and balancing work all day, I need to just sit in quiet too. I totally get it!
This is encouraging me to maybe look into joining a gym as well. I feel like my daughter is at an age where I feel a bit more comfortable leaving her with others, and I am really missing the yoga classes I would occasionally go to before baby.
It’s definitely hard to leave them. I had such bad anxiety the first few times I did but the girls there are really sweet and just love the twins so I’ve gotten more comfortable over time.
Being single and not a mom, I still tend to splurge on new clothes and shoes. But being a homeowner has changed my splurges somewhat. For instance, right now I’m getting ready to do some serious landscaping projects and put up a new fence in the backyard. It’s an expensive project, but will be well worth it when it’s done. (Hopefully!)
Ooh that sounds really nice! I’m ready for my invite. 🙂
Since I work my corporate job from home, my splurge is leaving the minis at day care a couple extra minutes so that I can take care of a couple chores around the house each afternoon… Getting a head start on supper is by far the best thing. I know all hell is going to break loose when I get home with them at three years and six months old. Having supper ready, or mostly ready, is the best thing I can do for my sanity and my ability to enjoy that time together.
YES! that is definitely an excellent way to spend your time & money.
I totally get where you are coming from – since having kids a few years back, for birthday and Christmas I don’t want ‘things’, I want TIME!
I know right!? That’s a good luxury! 🙂
I’m with you on the splurges. I would much rather splurge on something freelance-wise. It’s what’s fun for me and it can possibly help me increase my income!
Ahh naps are the best! I also splurge on runs and very very rare days off where I stay at home alone all day and organize my heart out!
Haha, you still sound very busy to me, Cat! Designing logos is what I consider torture, so maybe that’s why it still sounds like work to me 😉 Hey, whatever gets you out of the house and relaxed is what matters. Obviously, it’s awesome if that relaxation is affordable, but even if it’s not, sometimes it’s necessary. One thing I’ve learned from all the new moms in my life is “let Mom RELAX every once in a while!” Not only is it good for mom, but it’s good for the little one too, because Mom comes back ready to be a better, more relaxed Mom. 🙂
I love that your gym offers childcare. I feel like that´s a must! And I´m so, so glad you get some yoga time to relax. Are you still taking the ballet classes as well?
I always get so tired just reading your blogs! I hope you do the video course! That would be awesome! For me I’d love to get more massages and pedicures (because my feet get atrocious from the sand) and I really could use a new wardrobe..I mean really. But I have other priorities right now so I’ll just have to keep trying to do Pedi’s on my own. BTW I love quiet silent time too.
The best splurge these days is after we put our son to bed, I can sometimes convince my husband to go for a walk rather than do work around the house. We tell our housemate to text us if Kenny starts screaming and we just meander.
Thankfully, our housemate has never asked for payment for providing this luxury (though I do regularly give him baked goods so maybe we’re even).