I live in Grenada, but I know that in 9 months, we will be moving back to the States.
Every night, I look at jobs in New York (where the hubs’ will complete his last two years of medical school). I also look at apartments. Then I allow myself to crunch some numbers to figure out how we’re going to live there. It’s kind of a fun hobby, and on more than one occasion, I’ve had to screen shot an apartment just in case it’s available in a year. Some might say this borders on obsession.
I always have this dilemma, the desire to look forward and plan ahead while still really enjoying the here and now. I love my current job, and I love my sweet landlords. I love our community and the fact that we have handfuls of really fabulous friends who live within walking distance of us. I know we’ll never experience anything like this ever again, and yet I still can’t help myself from wondering what it will be like in just a few short months when we leave.
Still, this internal tug of war makes me feel a bit unsettled.
To make it worse, this past weekend was really difficult because two very sweet dogs that belong to my dear friends were poisoned. I’ve heard of this happening in Grenada, but I’ve never heard of it happening to a student. It’s devastating, and it hit way too close to home given that my dog loved their dogs and played with them pretty regularly. Now, I just really want to get my dog home safely.
Needless to say, this post isn’t nearly as chipper as they usually are, but it’s the real-deal-how-I-feel. How do you get yourself out of limbo? Or should I just enjoy the ride and quit looking ahead?