Today’s post is by staff writer, Kayla and is brought to you by Diamond Lighthouse. All advice and opinions are her own.
I’m just doing all kinds of opening up these days. A couple of weeks ago I shared some of my biggest financial mistakes with you guys here and one of them was coping with my emotions by shopping, even when I was broke.
The big event in question that threw me into a big financial and emotional mess was a divorce. Divorce is hard. After getting married at the ripe old age of 19 and getting divorced 9 months later was tough. It was hard emotionally and financially.
Luckily there are some things you can do to help you recover financially and recoup some of the costs of divorce. Here are 4 ways to recover financially from a divorce.
Take on Extra Work
One thing I did to help make up for having to pay the rent by myself after the divorce was take on extra hours at my day job and getting a part-time job for the weekends. All of a sudden I was a divorced full-time college student with 18 credit hours/semester and was working nearly 40 hours/week. It was hard, but I knew I needed the extra money to help me pay my bills. [Note from Cat: This is why I love Kayla. She’s such a hustler!]
Review Your Budget
If only I had had a budget at that time. If you do, you need to review it thoroughly as a divorce changes many expenses. For example, I went from paying half the rent to paying the whole rent by myself. I also had to change my car insurance, cell phone plan, and more. All of these things had an impact on my budget. Some were good and some were bad.
After you go through a divorce you should look at every line item in your budget to make sure it’s still relevant and recorded at the correct amount.
Ask for Help
Another thing I did to help me financially recover from my divorce is ask for help. Asking my family for help was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I was embarrassed to ask for help and to this day it still bothers me sometimes that I was forced to do so.
My parents were willing to step in and help me out for a little bit until my lease was up and I could find a new, cheaper, apartment that I could afford on my own.
I know I’m not alone in this because several people I know that have gotten divorced have had to ask their family for help or move back in with mom and dad to help them recover financially.
Sell Your Stuff
Finally, to help recover some of the costs of divorce, you can sell some of your stuff from the marriage. There are lots of places online where you can sell your used wedding dress as long as it’s in good condition, and you can also sell your engagement or wedding ring too. Rings are very expensive and even used rings can bring a pretty penny if you sell is someplace like Diamond Lighthouse.
Aside from selling things from your wedding, you might also be able to sell other things you don’t need anymore too. I have sold quite a few things each time I’ve moved or had a major life change in order to recoup some of the costs. I’ve sold things on Ebay, Amazon, and even on Facebook. [Note from Cat: When I moved to the Caribbean, I sold about $2,000 worth of personal possessions when I moved out of my U.S. apartment. It’s amazing how much money we all have just sitting in our house!]
Are you divorced? How did you recover financially?
14 responses to “4 Ways to Recover Financially From a Divorce”
Hey Kayla & Cat! Remember me from the guest post last year?
Well, I am back. And am absolutely confused as to how you manage to know what is going on in my life. I am separated from my husband, working with a mortgage broker trying to figure out a way to afford my home when I go ahead and file for divorce.
I am terrified to ask my family for help and I hope it doesn’t have to come to that. I already work 2 jobs and raise my daughter.
Thanks for your post. The timing is impeccable.
Hi Dominique! I do remember you 🙂 I’m so sorry you are going through that right now. Keep your chin up and do your best work. You will get through it!
This is really helpful for those who are having a financially problems from a divorce. Asking for a help is a good way too.
I hated to ask for help, but it’s really one of the things that saved me from being in an even bigger financial mess.
Hey, Girls, great post, and great advice. I love to go through our home and look at the things we no longer use. We all accumulate so much stuff, we recently went through a big cleanout of our attic, and made $500 from selling the items we no longer need. It was a win-win, organized attic, and money in the bank.
I always have a pile of things to donate and a pile of things to sell when I clean out areas of my home. I try to do it at times that make sense, like when I decorate for Christmas in a few weeks I’ll de-clutter my Christmas decorations at that time since they are all out anyway.
I am not divorced. But it this happens, I think I’d get a professional help so that all money or wealth is properly divided and after this, we can move on with our own life without having to deal with this money issue again and again.
Unless you have some kind of spousal support arrangement, once the divorce is final you shouldn’t have to re-visit the issue of dividing assets or money again.
Oh, man. This entire situation is rough. I hear you on the bills, too. On one hand, I wanted to let some of ours go because it was our equal responsibility legally, but on the other my credit report would have suffered. He knew I wouldn’t let that happen and used it to his advantage. Thank God for family. Even with their help it is tough, but without them it can be so much worse. Humbling experiences are good to learn from, but still suck.
I totally understand how divorce can affect a person’s life. I’m not divorced but I have a friend, so dear to me, who is. I can’t tell you the whole story but all I wanna say is that, life will not stop unless you permit it. I’m always telling my friend, “If you can’t change the situation, change your attitude”. If we stay positive even in the midst of crisis, we will SURVIVE.
That’s a great thing to keep in mind. The flip side though is that you aren’t the one going through the divorce. I applaud your efforts to support your friend, I’m sure she needs it! But remember that sometimes we need to grieve our loss during divorce too, even if the marriage ended badly.
Divorce was the best thing I ever did, financially speaking. Sure, getting here was tough mentally, emotionally, and financially, but when you’re married to someone who controls the family finances and has a weakness for shopping and regularly puts the credit card into $4k of debt, and ‘needs’ things that require topping up the mortgage, separating from that relationship has been like quitting twenty smoking habits. I’ve taken the chance to really (and I mean REALLY) tighten the financial screws so I can squeeze every dollar out of my income. I was broke for the first three months repaying debt, but that period also taught me a lot about how to live frugally. I now really enjoy it.
I’m glad that you are better off now. I didn’t get divorced purely because of financial differences, but it was still a tough journey to recover from.
Way before my daughter was near marrying age, I told her, “I’m not going to pay for a wedding. Way too many marriages end in divorce. Instead, I will put money in an account, for you, for when
ever you need it.”
My wife was divorced before we married. My sister has divorced twice. I have a number of friends who divorced. I have a number of friends who’s daughters divorced after an expensive wedding.
My daughter ended up divorced, I had money in the bank to pay for her divorce and help her get back on her feet. Luckily, she and her first husband didn’t spend anything on the wedding. Her second marriage she and her fiance paid, with a little help from us.
I don’t understand expensive weddings. A young friend was married less than a year, her brother told me that her parents paid about $40K for the wedding. Wow! What that money could have done, otherwise.
My wife and I were married in her parents living room, by a Justice of the Peace. We maybe spent $350 on the wedding. We’ve been married 35 years now.
Goes to show, the wedding doesn’t make the marriage.
Thanks for letting me ramble. Thanks for all the good stuff you share and put out.
All the best!